Just Desserts: Milk Drunk and “Kit Completo Tiramisù Alla Fragola”
Grade A ice cream vs. grade F tiramisu.
Nested in Seattle’s Beacon Hill neighborhood is Milk Drunk, an offshoot of Mediterranean restaurant Homer, whose ice cream got popular enough for them to… well… offshoot Milk Drunk.
Setting aside a decent-sized sandwich menu, Milk Drunk is, at its heart, soft-serve-centric. You get a handful of flavors: vanilla or malted chocolate, strawberry or matcha, or a swirl of either. Add to that one seasonal flavor, and it’s a suitably simple menu. Bless Ben & Jerry’s and their stunt flavors – I have no issues with either – but there’s no need to go overboard if your basics hold high quality.
The strawberry/matcha swirl is an example of how complex something simple can be, a pairing that is not random. The matcha has a savory umami profile, with a velvety texture to complement the zesty strawberry. It results is in what feels like a soft embrace (the matcha) leading into a quick, sharp electric shock (the strawberry).
Yeah, I don’t know; the analogy made sense when I typed it.
That’s not to pooh-pooh the more classical malted chocolate/vanilla swirl, which is exactly what you expect it to be, just a whole lot more natural-tasting than standard diner fare.
The ice cream also comes in milkshake and soda-float forms, and I vaguely suspect the chocolate/vanilla would lend itself even better to those than a cone or a cup. You know, for a throwback malt-shop experience. It’s worth an investigation.
Like I said, there is more to Milk Drunk than just soft serve, and their sandwiches are worth the visit in their own right. But, should I have to go with one or the other, the ice cream will win out – and likely every time.
Find Milk Drunk on 2805 Beacon Ave S or the web.
Meanwhile, from the Artificial Foods Files™: “Kit Completo Tiramisù Alla Fragola”
So, this is it, then. The holy grail for the seekers of the bizarre and the hunters of the unknown: Tiramisu in a box or, more specifically, Marini’s Kit Completo Tiramisù Alla Fragola. A package of four ingredients and a plastic pan to layer them in. No more than ten minutes to assemble, six of which are spent mixing a mascarpone-powder-in-milk frosting. Soak the bundled ladyfingers in a Jell-O-like syrup, layer the ingredients, and boom – instant tiramisu. What could go wrong?
Quite a lot, as it turns out.
It won’t come as a surprise that you cannot make a proper marscopone from dairy powder and milk. I’m not even sure how to describe it other than as a chemically sweetened Cool Whip-adjacent substance. The kit contains no caffeine-based ingredients, so you won’t get the traditional tiramisu coffee flavor. Nor is there cocoa powder, which was swapped out with neon sprinkles.
I’d be hard-pressed calling it a tiramisu, and it frankly tastes pretty vile. It’s not a great sign when Betty Crocker presents a more authentic take on the Italian mainstay.
Yet, there is one thing I will give Marini credit for, and that is the pan.
What I initially thought to be a manufacturing mistake turned out to be a well-thought-out feature. After double-layering the twelve ladyfingers, the pan was left with an inch of space – the size of a ladyfinger. Did Marini forget to include two biscuits? I really don’t think so, as the extra space is perfectly sized for a serving spatula. Somebody was thinking.
The tiramisu might not be particularly tasty, then, but, if nothing else, serving it is an absolute delight.
For those in the Washington State area – or for those who just enjoy bagels – It’s a Shanda is more than worth a read. They just held “Mensch Madness,” where they pitted thirty-two Western Washington bagel spots against each other – Backyard Bagel being the winner. Go check ’em out.
