The Great Burger Chase: Three Stops from Seattle’s Cap Hill to the South End

Checking in on some simple burgers for a simple-ish man.

Cheeseburgers: I’m a fan, though I’m also wary of the increasingly “complicated” – and unnecessary – takes on them. Here are a few recent burgers of the simpler variety I’ve sampled.

Some claim the smash-style burger has overstayed its welcome, but frankly, good is good, no matter how out-of-style it (or anything) is. And, sure, SMA5H might be lacking in the name department, but their burgers – 100% halal – are up there. Well seasoned and juicy; properly grilled in both char and flavor. Bonus points for the buttery brioche buns.

You certainly can get some over-the-top flavor bombs at SMA5H, too – the loaded fries live up to their name – but the basic cheeseburger delivers nuances.

For a good pairing, try one of their fresh-tasting juices to offset the heavier protein. (Granted, you can add cream, but that is a road best left untraveled).

You can find SMA5H at 7101 MLK Jr. Way S.

First and foremost, Bent delivers fully legit basic burgers – the patty is grilled without hitting that hockey-puck stage, and (again) brioche buns are always welcome. You can get a proper classic burger if that’s what you’re looking for.

Where Bent takes it one step further is with the customization, which isn’t a throw-in-the-kitchen-sink situation. Instead, you have choices like spicing up the palate with Ghost Pepper Jack instead of Cheddar. And, if you like the flavor of the pepper but not the heat, you can pull back the punch by adding a slice of pineapple or an egg. Having choices like turkey and salmon patties is a bit out of the norm, too.

In other words, if you’re out for a classic burger with some minor personalization, Bent has options for you. And luckily, the plain old baseline is perfectly respectable in its own right.

Find Bent Burgers at 5100 S Dawson St.

Lil Woody’s has been around since 2011, and truly, no matter how I feel about their burgers, they will still be here in 2111. Their reputation and reach are just that good.

As for their burgers, I might not be as sold as some. They’re not bad, per se, and they are assembled in the expected old-school way. The eponymous quarter-pounder comes with the familiar chopped onions, ketchup, and mayo – Tillamook cheddar adds a more highfalutin touch than the American cheese variety.

All well and good until you come to the patty which, for lack of a better word, is dry as charcoal. And that’s a non-starter for me, though you’ll be fine if you’re in it for the stash more than the burger.

So, why did I even bother including Lil Woody’s on the list? It comes down to the hand-cut fries. Lightly fried with just a dusting of spices and that’s it. Simple and not exciting, but then, why should they be? They’re effortlessly edible.

Find Lil Woody’s… well, all over the place.

Meanwhile, for those interested in Norwegian writing – literally in Norwegian – check out sociologist

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1. Who the most important voice is goes without saying. 👍